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Vegetable jokes 🥕🍅🥒 in 2025

If vegetables are so good on their own
– Why do vegans keep trying to make them taste like meat?

What did the cucumber say when he saw the Airplane?
– Courgette (“Caw Jet!”)

What is long, green and slowly turns red?
– A cucumber holding its breath.

What’s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable?
– Spin-ouch.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
– A Broc-collie!

Which vegetable does everyone hate whether they admit it or not?
– Kim Jong-un

What do you call a retired vegetable?
– A has bean!

What is an elephant’s favourite vegetable?
– Squash.

whats a dogs favorite vegetable
– collie-flower

What’s a cannibals favorite part about eating a vegetable?
– Afterwards they get to sell the wheelchair.

Why do potatoes always argue?
– Because they can never see eye to eye.

Why is it impossible to get angry with a yam?
– Because they’re such sweet potatoes.

What do you call a fast fungus?
– A mush-vroom.

Which vegetable tells us how old a taxi is?
– Cabbage.

Why couldn’t the vegetable marry the fruit?
– Because it was cantaloupe.

What’s the fastest vegetable?
…. a runner bean

Which vegetable loves roller coasters?
– Celerweeeeeeeeeeeee.

Which vegetable is best at kung fu?
– Brock Lee.

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