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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2025

What did the vegan and the carnivore say to each other when they went to a steakhouse together?
– “Don’t have a cow, man.”

What do you call a fascist vegan?
-Lactose intolerant.

My wife lied about being vegan
– She ate animal crackers.

A Vegan, Jehovah Witness and Keto Trainer walk into a bar…
-* Everybody Leaves *

As a Pink Floyd fan, nothing makes me angrier than seeing a vegan eating pudding.
-Because how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?

How do you know if a Vegan joke is a re-post?
– It’s been on “Here Bivore.”

Did you hear about the girl who recently decided to eat vegan?
-Of course you did.

Do you serve vegetarians here?
-Of course, how would you like them cooked?

My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying “GO VEGAN” for 2 weeks and see how people react.
-So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!

I’m curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

My girlfriend changed a lot since becoming a vegan
-It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.

A vegan said to me, “people who sell meat are gross!”
-I said, “people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”

Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
– It hasn’t been tested on mice.

What’s more fun than a vegan at a BBQ?
-Anything. Literally anything.

What do you call an excavated pyramid?
– Unencrypted.

Can I tell you a vegan joke?
-I promise it won’t be cheesy.

What does a vegan zombie say?
-GRRRAAAAAIIIINSSSS!

What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?
-There are plenty of phish in the sea!

I follow a strict vegetarian diet
– I eat only vegetarians.

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