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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2024

Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegan brother?
– Broco Lee

Vegans don’t live longer
– It just feels like they do

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-None, everybody knows they can’t change anything.

You know why vegans are the nicest people…?
-Because they got no beef

Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
– Because it’s super natural.

What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
-Soy Division.

A vegan pilot who does CrossFit walks into a bar.
-Which one does he tell you about first?

I tried a vegan steak the other day and it was really good!
-Cannibalism isnt for everyone but I sure like it!

What do you call a vegan surfer who can only surf half a wave?
-Radish

What do you call a sunburnt vegan?
-A baked bean

Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat
-Then I remember they feed off of attention.

Save a cow,
– eat a vegetarian!

What do you call the argument between two vegans?
-A plant-based beef.

Why do people hate vegans?
-Because they always try to start beef

What did the vegan and the carnivore say to each other when they went to a steakhouse together?
– “Don’t have a cow, man.”

What do you call a fascist vegan?
-Lactose intolerant.

My wife lied about being vegan
– She ate animal crackers.

A Vegan, Jehovah Witness and Keto Trainer walk into a bar…
-* Everybody Leaves *

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