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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2025

What does a waiter say when he gives meat for a vegan
– Sorry it was a meat steak.

I put my Dobermans on a vegan diet and I’m worried about their nutrition.
-Between the five of them, they’re getting through a vegan a week – am I overfeeding them?

If ever society collapses and we resort to cannibalism…
-Vegans meat will be the most expensive because they’re grass fed.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-No idea. But where do you get your protein?

Annoying a vegan…
-…is like shooting fish in a barrel. Which annoys them even more

I am a Social Vegan
-Because I avoid Meet

An argument between two vegetarians is not called beef.
-Just two people with bad tempehs.

Vegans never have arguments between them.
-Cause they dont want any kind of beef.

How do you tell a vegan to be quiet?
-S.T.O.F.U.!!

I hadn’t seen my grandma for a long time, she looked so different from the last time I’d seen her. She told me that she had become a vegan for a few months now.
-She had changed so much since she became a vegan. It was like I’d never seen herbivore.

A vegan told me people who sold meat were disgusting.
– I said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

Why did the vegan get fired ?
-His job performance did not meat expectations.

How many meat-eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
– None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

What’s the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19?
-With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary…

A kid get in trouble and as punishment is made to wear an “I am a Vegan!” t-shirt for the day. It is a horrible experience and they get called all sorts of names and things are thrown at them and they are even kicked a few times..
-All that before they even left the house!

I could never go vegan!
– Said almost every person (before going vegan)

So I put my dog on a vegan diet
-Don’t worry, I only feed him the finest vegans I can find

What’s the hardest thing about being a vegan that CrossFits?
-Trying to decide which one to tell people about first.

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