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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2025

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?
-GRAAAAAINS…

You know why vegans are the nicest people…?
-Because they got no beef

Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
– Because it’s super natural.

What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
-Soy Division.

A vegan pilot who does CrossFit walks into a bar.
-Which one does he tell you about first?

I tried a vegan steak the other day and it was really good!
-Cannibalism isnt for everyone but I sure like it!

What do you call a vegan surfer who can only surf half a wave?
-Radish

What do you call a sunburnt vegan?
-A baked bean

Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat
-Then I remember they feed off of attention.

Save a cow,
– eat a vegetarian!

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