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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2025

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?
-GRAAAAAINS…

What does a vegan zombie say?
-GRRRAAAAAIIIINSSSS!

What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?
-There are plenty of phish in the sea!

I follow a strict vegetarian diet
– I eat only vegetarians.

What do rappers and vegans have in common?
-Fake beef

Why do vegans give good head?
-They are always eating nuts

Did you hear the one about the Vegan Crossfitter who saw Hamilton live on Broadway with the original cast?
– He didn’t know which one to talk about first.

What kind of crackers do vegans refuse to eat?
-Animal crackers

9 out of 10 cannibals agree
-vegetarians taste better!

Can vegans eat pudding?
-No, you cant have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat.

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