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Vegan Jokes 🥗 in 2025

Being Vegan gives you a superpower
-The power to annoy all of your friends.

How long does it take a vegan to finish a hamburger?
-5 seconds depending on if anybody is watching the dog.

How can you tell if someone is vegan?
-Don’t worry. When you offer them meat, they will say ‘no thanks’, then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

What do vegans get at a barbecue restaurant?
-Kicked out.

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?
-Oops wrong sub

A vegan enters a restaurant and asks the waiter for advice what to order.
-“A taxi.”

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon double cheeseburger?
-Only one if nobody is looking.

What’s the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?
-Tell everybody

What do vegan zombies eat?
-GRAAAAAINS…

Just finished a 60-day vegan diet
– I lost two months

I went to a vegan BBQ
– I thought the Vegan was overcooked

What does a pirate store his data on?
-An Arrrrr Drive

What’s the similarity between a vegan and a frat boy?
– They always manage to slip it in.

What does a waiter say when he gives meat for a vegan
– Sorry it was a meat steak.

If 2 vegans start arguing…
-Is it still beef?

If ever society collapses and we resort to cannibalism…
-Vegans meat will be the most expensive because they’re grass fed.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-No idea. But where do you get your protein?

I put my Dobermans on a vegan diet and I’m worried about their nutrition.
-Between the five of them, they’re getting through a vegan a week – am I overfeeding them?

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