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Vampire Jokes 🧛 in 2025

Why did the vampire’s head pop?
– He bit someone with high blood pressure

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
-Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

Why was the vampire in a good mood?
– His last victim’s blood was B+

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman
– Frostbite

Why don’t vampires bet on horses?
-They can’t handle the stakes.

Have you ever heard of an italian vampire?
-Neither have i #garlicPower

What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
-Frost-bite!

I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was.
-I told them it was the one from Sesame Street.

“Pfft, he doesn’t count,” they said to me.

I replied “Well that’s where you’re wrong kiddo”

This movie about killing dwarf vampires has no tension
-The stakes are too low

Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
– They forgot to Count Dracula!

What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?
-Long time, no see.

How does a vampire get across the ocean?
-a boat

Did you know vampires are dog people?
-After all, they have the biggest canines.

why cant vampires tell jokes right?
-all their jokes just SUCK

I think that one puppet from Sesame Street is my favorite vampire ever.
-Some people claim he doesn’t count, but I’m certain that he does.

What can you tell about a vampire who attacks during the day?
-He’s a daydrinker.

What did the vampire say at the blood bank?
-I’d like to make a withdrawal

How to you tell if a vampire is sick?
-By how much he is coffin

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