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Vampire Jokes 🧛 in 2025

What is a vampire’s favourite animal?
– A giraffe.

How do you beat a vampire at poker?
– Raise the stakes!

You do realize that Vampires aren’t real…
-Unless you Count Dracula.

What do you call an attention deficit French vampire?
-Drac…Ooh La La!

how can you tell if a vampire is sick
-By how much hes coffin

Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don’t bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
– Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters
-She’s the new Miss Stake.

How do you join a Vampire Fan Club?
– Send your name, address and blood group.

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself…
-my wife rushes through the room and shouts, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK”

What is a vampire’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
-Vein-illa

What do you say to someone who refuses to believe their friend is a vampire?
-Wake up and smell the coffin!

Why did the vampire’s head pop?
– He bit someone with high blood pressure

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.
-Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

Why was the vampire in a good mood?
– His last victim’s blood was B+

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman
– Frostbite

Why don’t vampires bet on horses?
-They can’t handle the stakes.

Have you ever heard of an italian vampire?
-Neither have i #garlicPower

What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
-Frost-bite!

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