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Valentines day jokes 💝 in 2025

What did one bee say to the other?
– I love bee-ing with you, honey!

“If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes,
– you need to let that mango.”

What is it called when your aunt went off to get married on V-Day?
– Antelope.

What did the stamp say to the Valentine’s card envelope?
– I’m stuck on you!

What is the difference between a calendar and you?
– A calendar has a date on Valentine’s day!

Q. What two words have a thousand letters in them?
– A. Post Office!

“How did the phone propose to his GF?”
– “He gave her a ring.”

Where did the high-heel take its date?
– To the football.

How do werewolves send Valentines?
– By hair-mail!

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
– It was a case of guppy love.

What did the girl squirrel say to her sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?
– I’m nuts about you!

“I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture.
– But when I got home the tables were turned.”

How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine?
– “Whale you be mine?”

Why couldn’t the mineral water ever get a Valentine?
– All of his friendships were so pla-tonic.

What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
– Stick with me and you’ll go places!

What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day?
– You’re my butter half!

What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card?
– A card that says “I love you drool-ly”

“What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day?”
– “Lots of hogs and kisses.”

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