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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

“Son, what are you doing in there?”
“Injecting some heroin!”

“Ah, ok, I thought you were getting a vaccine or something…”

I tried to come up with a good vaccine joke but what’s the point.
– Half of Americans won’t get it anyways.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog — we laughed a lot.

30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.

Just got my vaccine, but they stuck the needle in my leg.
– I spent the following day thinking “my Pfizer killing me”

I got my first dose of the Covid-19 vaccine today…
– For the next few weeks I’ll be doing things half-vaxxed.

How do you socially distance while around family?
– A high-fiber diet.

I would make a COVID-19 joke, but it would be tasteless.

I initially refused my vaccine
– however it ended up being in vein.

They say “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.
– That’s why I’m raiding this vaccine warehouse

My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!

What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
– A glass of wine in each hand.

Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.

Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands.

I had my second vaccine jab today. But they put it my leg.
– Now my Phizer hurting me.

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