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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

How to make Americans take vaccines
– Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.”
“Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.

What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke?
– Be patient.

Joe Rogan caught COVID but made a near-complete recovery. Unfortunately, he’s still not able to smell jiu-jitsu.

Anti vaccine americans being ignorant isn’t their fault
– They didn’t go to school because they are scared of being shot

Why is there global chip shortage?
– Because it all went into vaccines.

I thought you had to wear a mask when entering businesses. They kept yelling at me to put on some pants.

Yeah, I have plans tonight. I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.

I finally convinced my hillbilly friend to get a Covid vaccination, but he doesn’t want Moderna.
– He says, “ just because she sang some good pop songs back in the 80s don’t mean she knows how to make a vaccine!”.

The one rat asked the other rat if he’s had the vaccine?
– Nope, they’re still testing it on humans

Let’s see how that goes

Why do they call it the novel coronavirus?
– It’s a long story….

During the pandemic, it’s important to take after NASA. Give people space.

Covid vaccine is not safe
– My friend had gotten both his doses. Still died when he fell off the 19th floor.

I had heart palpitations, sweating and aches on the day of my first Covid-19 Vaccine
– But once I got in and actually had the jab I was fine

I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a parent-teacher conference.

The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.

What do all virus jokes have in common?
– They’re catchy.

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