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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

Catholics have been lobbying for vaccine exemptions
– Because theres nothing more catholic than someone else dying for your sins

Why is Mom’s Spaghetti better than the covid vaccine?
– cuz you only get one shot

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog — we laughed a lot.

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

“Son, what are you doing in there?”
“Injecting some heroin!”

“Ah, ok, I thought you were getting a vaccine or something…”

I tried to come up with a good vaccine joke but what’s the point.
– Half of Americans won’t get it anyways.

How do you socially distance while around family?
– A high-fiber diet.

30 days hath September, April, June, and November, all the rest have 31, except for March which was infinite.

Just got my vaccine, but they stuck the needle in my leg.
– I spent the following day thinking “my Pfizer killing me”

I got my first dose of the Covid-19 vaccine today…
– For the next few weeks I’ll be doing things half-vaxxed.

My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!

What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
– A glass of wine in each hand.

I would make a COVID-19 joke, but it would be tasteless.

I initially refused my vaccine
– however it ended up being in vein.

They say “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.
– That’s why I’m raiding this vaccine warehouse

Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.

Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.

Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands.

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