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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”

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What do you call someone whose life didn’t change after quarantine?
– An introvert.

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What did the astronauts say to NASA when they notified them that their mission was complete and they could return to earth?
– Thanks, but no thanks.

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You won’t believe the reason Eminem stopped being antivax and decided to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine!!
– You only get one shot.

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Weird Pfizer vaccine side effect
– I haven’t made any sounds when I go to the bathroom since I got the shot.

Doctor said that with Pfizer, the p is silent.

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The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
– They’re in bad taste.

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What are some unexpected consequences of over-the-counter efforts to treat COVID-19? Dirty fish tanks.

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I got the COVID vaccine but I noticed a weird side effect
– Every time I sneeze I hear the Microsoft error sound

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The lead singer of Disturbed has refused to get the Covid vaccine.
– He’s Down With The Sickness!

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Did you hear about the guy speculating on hand sanitizer?
– He was rubbing his hands together.

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I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.

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Over 99.99% of people that took the vaccine for the 1918 Spanish Flu have passed away.
– This seems very suspicious to me!

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What’s the difference between Lay’s and the Pfizer vaccine?
– The Pfizer vaccine has at least one chip in it.

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Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

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Lockdown means you get to decide each day what outfit you’ll wear in your livingroom.

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What did the barista call her face mask?
– A coughy filter.

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How to make Americans take vaccines
– Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

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