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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

What are some unexpected consequences of over-the-counter efforts to treat COVID-19? Dirty fish tanks.

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I got the COVID vaccine but I noticed a weird side effect
– Every time I sneeze I hear the Microsoft error sound

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The lead singer of Disturbed has refused to get the Covid vaccine.
– He’s Down With The Sickness!

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Did you hear about the guy speculating on hand sanitizer?
– He was rubbing his hands together.

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I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.

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Over 99.99% of people that took the vaccine for the 1918 Spanish Flu have passed away.
– This seems very suspicious to me!

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What’s the difference between Lay’s and the Pfizer vaccine?
– The Pfizer vaccine has at least one chip in it.

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Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

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Lockdown means you get to decide each day what outfit you’ll wear in your livingroom.

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What did the barista call her face mask?
– A coughy filter.

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How to make Americans take vaccines
– Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

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“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.”
“Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

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Since we’re all in quarantine I guess we’ll be making only inside jokes from now on.

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What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke?
– Be patient.

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Joe Rogan caught COVID but made a near-complete recovery. Unfortunately, he’s still not able to smell jiu-jitsu.

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Anti vaccine americans being ignorant isn’t their fault
– They didn’t go to school because they are scared of being shot

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Why is there global chip shortage?
– Because it all went into vaccines.

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I thought you had to wear a mask when entering businesses. They kept yelling at me to put on some pants.

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