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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

What did Alexander Hamilton say before he got his COVID vaccine?
– I am not throwing away my shot.

I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch them with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.

One horse asks the other if he’s tried Ivermectin. “I haven’t,” he says, “but my neigh-bor has.”

A man comes home for his nutritionist appointment.
– He tells his wife, “These doctors need to get their act together. This one told me stay away from chips, but the other one told me to get the vaccine.”

A Vegan and a CrossFitter walk into a bar…
– But they couldn’t get a single word in because someone just got their vaccine shot

Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.

Did you hear the joke about the germ?
– Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.

What’s the worst part of homeschooling?
– You can’t transfer students out of your class.

[OC] I’m gonna name my daughter Vaccine…
– That way she will have to explain to her nieces and nephews why she is Auntie Vax.

Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. One of them says to the other, “Mine are so good at social distancing, they won’t even call me.”

What do you call someone whose life didn’t change after quarantine?
– An introvert.

What did the astronauts say to NASA when they notified them that their mission was complete and they could return to earth?
– Thanks, but no thanks.

You won’t believe the reason Eminem stopped being antivax and decided to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine!!
– You only get one shot.

Weird Pfizer vaccine side effect
– I haven’t made any sounds when I go to the bathroom since I got the shot.

Doctor said that with Pfizer, the p is silent.

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny?
– They’re in bad taste.

What are some unexpected consequences of over-the-counter efforts to treat COVID-19? Dirty fish tanks.

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