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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands.

I had my second vaccine jab today. But they put it my leg.
– Now my Phizer hurting me.

When I get my vaccine do I need to do anything to keep my micro chips charged?
– Or is getting a 5G signal enough?

What’s the difference between COVID and politics? Politics doesn’t end after two weeks.

What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine?
– Inside jokes!

No one ever listens to me about vaccines.
– I have heard immunity.

Why do anti-vaccine marches avoid bridges?
– Because the marchers are so dense the bridge may not hold.

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.

If coronavirus isn’t about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?

What goes great with Corona?
– Lyme disease.

After a group of scientists invented a tasteless orally ingestible Covid vaccine they had a meeting to decide which products would be best to put it in to get to finally get to 100% coverage in America.
– Ranch dressing will get 98% and Horse dewormer paste to cover the last 2%

My dad said the guy at work got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and felt terrible the next day…
– I said “what did you expect from taking two Johnson’s at once”

Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic?
– Read the room!

What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever?
– Self, I so late.

Knock-Knock! Go home, you’re supposed to be social distancing.

I decided to shoot up a bunch of kids today
– I always feel so good giving out free coronavirus vaccines…

How does COVID travel?
– The Batmobile.

You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.

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