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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2025

What do you call a coffee filter mask?
– A coughy filter.

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.

Why isn’t Holy Water used in vaccines ?
– Because, you can’t take the Lords name in vein.

Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.

Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.

Did you hear that vaccinations are controversial in some communities?
– It’s a real sticking point.

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine
– but didn’t because he probably wouldn’t get it anyways

My dad’s sister is a geriatric nurse.
With Covid her life has been crazy busy over the past year. She has seen far too many patients die. Now that we have the vaccine she’s very excited and gets borderline preachy on why we should all get vaccinated. She talks about it non-stop. It’s annoying!

It’s like she’s become Auntie Vaxx!

If you bought 144 rolls of toilet paper in preparation for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before coronavirus.

What did the man say to the bartender?
– I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.

They said you had to wear a mask at the grocery store. They should have mentioned clothes, too.

I think the vaccine is making me magnetic!
– When I put a piece of tape on my skin it stuck to me!

What did the single guy say to the single woman during lockdown?
– “If COVID doesn’t take you out, can I?”

What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19?
– It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.

Two lab rats are talking… One says “Are you going to get that vaccine?”
– The other says “Are you crazy? They haven’t even finished the human trials yet!”

A vaccine has been released for the Indian coronavirus variant
– It’s called the Punjab

Being quarantined with a talkative child is like having an insane parrot glued to your shoulder.

You know who buys up all the toilet paper?
– Assholes.

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