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Uncle Jokes in 2024

Well,would you?
– If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

I’m worried about volunteering to help my uncle at work tomorrow at the coroner’s office
– It’s a pretty big undertaking

My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.
– It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.

Uncle Ben
– A true credit to his rice

Uncle came over for Christmas, and told me these wisdoms: “Forget the future, you cannot predict it. Forget the past, you cannot change it.”
– “And forget the present, I didn’t get you one.”

I’m trying to get my aunt and uncle to buy a donkey…
– But I don’t wanna be an ass

Ant Man?
– Why don’t they just call him uncle?

My uncle was a math teacher.
– When he retired, he bought a boat and named it Aftermath.

I wanted to invest some money into my uncle’s Indian restaurant
– He said: it’s naan of your business

Did you hear they are changing the Uncle Ben’s Logo?
– Everyone thought it was ricest.

I just got a repressed memory foam mattress.
– It holds me just like my uncle used to.

My Uncle says that if you do something you love then you’ll never work a day in your life
– as he rolled yet another joint.

Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie “Constipation” that was supposed to come out this year?
– It didn’t.

I’m from Alabama and I don’t appreciate all the jokes Reddit makes about my home state. I told my dad, my uncle, and my grandpa about it.
– When he found out he was madder than hell

My uncle went to prison for stealing a board game
– He got life.

All my family are police officers. Except for my uncle who is a bank robber.
– He died recently, surrounded by his family.

Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.
– Locomotives.

My uncle was never good at throwing stuff away
– He died from a hand grenade

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