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Uncle Jokes in 2025

What’s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?
– you can find both in my boxers

At my cousin’s birthday party, I held up a photo of my uncle and said “It’s amazing how you look just like your father did at 40!”
– That’s the last quinceañera I get invited to.

All three of my uncles used to grow weed together
– It was a joint effort.

My uncle was in a terrible accident, and lost the entire left side of his body.
– He’s all right, now.

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug
– His last wish was to be Frank in Stein

My uncle is such a great businessman that he made $6 million in profits this year
– He works in a non-profit organization

My Uncle has a coal fetish.
– Its why he likes to bang miners.

My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn’t figure out his blood type.
– At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, “Be positive!”

I’ll never forget my Uncles last words on his death bed
“I am your Father”

Still doing the Star Wars impressions right to the end.

My uncle once got his DeLorean up to 88 mph, and ended up 30 years in the future.
– That’s how long he got for hitting all those people at the bus stop.

My uncle is like a good love story
– Very touching

Political opinions are like dicks….
– Sometimes they lean left, sometimes they lean right, and nobody likes it when your crazy uncle whips his out at Thanksgiving dinner.

My uncle Hans (a hotdog lover) has been very ill recently. Last night, craving a hotdog, he went on a drive to the nearest hotdog stand. Sadly, as he was driving, he became even more unwell…
…he took a turn for the wurst.

My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them.
– I have an uncle, once removed.

My uncle got shot by a stray bullet. By some miracle, he had a bible in his jacket pocket.
– So he had something to read as he bled to death.

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra
– My aunt has been taking it hard

A boy asks his Uncle: “Oh Uncle! How did you break your legs?!”
The Uncle replies: *You see those stairs going downwards?*

Boy: *Yeah*

Uncle: *I didn’t*

My dyslexic uncle ruined Christmas…
– He warped all the presents

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