Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.
Mary asks “Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?”

“Garcia?” Sue responds. “No, but I think I’ve seen his brother Juan”

Mary replies “They’re identical twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal!”

Why were the Twin Towers upset?
– They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

Why do twins usually know each others habits so well right from the moment of birth?
– Because they have been wombmates for 9 months already!

Did you know that Cardi B has a twin fitness trainer?
– Her name is Cardi O

My neighbours have two sons – identical twins names Jamal and Juan.
– If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal.

Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun’s evil twin?
– He was tragically malicious.

Twins!
– A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter asks, “Are they twins?” The ugly woman says, “No, he’s 9 and she’s 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?”
“No,” replies the greeter. “I just can’t believe you got laid twice.”

A teenage girl gives birth to twins and puts them up for adoption…
She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East.
Years later she hires a private investigator to track down her two adopted children, just so she can find out how their lives have been. After months of searching, the investigator comes back to her with only a single photo of the boy adopted out to the Mexican couple.
“There’s no photo of the other child!?” the woman says, dismayed.
The investigator shrugs. “Geeze, lady! They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

Two friends are chatting when one says ‘I had a date with identical twins last night’ the other friend asks ‘any luck?’
– ‘Yes and no’ replied the friend

Every time I look in the mirror, I only see my brother.
– We’re identical twins.

Slip of the Tongue
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, “How you doing’, Joe?”
Joe says, “Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers.”
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe’s gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, “your dad sent me up here to have sex with both of you.”
One girl replies, “Get out of here. Prove it?”
Mike shouts down stairs -, “Hey, Joe, both of ’em?”
Joe shouts back, “of course, both of ’em!” What’s the point of fuckin’ one?”

Two friends are chatting when one says ‘I had a date with identical twins last night’ the other friend asks ‘any luck?’
– ‘Yes and no’ replied the friend

Why did conjoined twins go to London?
– So the other one could drive a little.

My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them.
– I have an uncle, once removed.

Genders are like the twin towers
– There used to be 2 of them, but now it is a sensitive topic.

What do flatulent Egyptian twins share?
– They have a Toot-in-common.

A girl gives birth to identical twins but has to give them up for adoption…….
– One is adopted by a Spanish family and they call him Juan, the other gets adopted by an Indian family and they decide to call him Amahl.
Years go by and one day the mother, full of regret, decides she wants to know what became of her sons so she goes to the adoption agency and asks them to help her track them down.
Eventually they are able to track down Juan and arrange a meeting but they just can’t find Amahl. The lady is upset and begins to cry, saying “I wanted to meet both of my boys” to which the adoption worker replies “hey, they’re identical twins…. if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amahl.”

4 men are in the hospital waiting room waiting for their babies The nurse walks in and tells the first man: “Congratulations you’re having twins.” The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence, i work for the Minnesota twins.”
The nurse tells the second man: “Congratulations you’re having triplets.”
The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence, i work for the 3M company.”
The nurse tells the third man: “Congratulations You’re having quadruplets.”
The third man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence i work at the 4 seasons hotel.”
The fourth man is screaming and banging his head on the wall
The nurse asks him: “What’s wrong?”
He responds: “I screwed up, i work at 7UP”