Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

A buddy of mine just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin.
I said “How can you tell them apart?”
He said “Her brother’s got a moustache.”

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption
One of the twin boys is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Juan. The other boy is adopted by a family in Egypt, who name him Jamal.
Years later, her son Juan connects with her and sends him a picture of himself with his family.
Feeling moved and happy that Juan is doing well, she sighs to her husband, “I wish I could see the other one, too.”
Her husband looks at her and says, “Well, honey, they’re identical twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal!”

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.
– But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other’s sentences.

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.
– But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other’s sentences.

What do you call twins before they’re born?
– Wombmates

I once dated a girl with a twin. We all know the immediate fantasy that springs to mind, and so i thought i’d ask.
I asked and they agreed.
It was a wonderful experience and if anything her twin was a really nice guy.

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.
– It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage
Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.
A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
“Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce,” the judge said.
“Well, Your Honor,” Tony began, “periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and because she and my wife are identical,
occasionally I’d end up making love to her by mistake.”
“I understand they’re identical twins, but surely there must be some difference
between the two women,” said the judge.
“Precisely, Your Honor,” replied Tony “That’s why I want a divorce.”

I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother…
… whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with “When I was your age….” then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.

My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.
– I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

A joke I made up
– There once lived an unmarried, flamboyant, lustful king who chased women and slept with everyone in his court. The day came for him to be married, and he went to see a local lord who was rumored to have two beautiful daughters. The king went to meet the lord and his two beautiful daughters. After looking at both daughters the king was ready to announce which one he was going to marry, but before he could, the lord said:

” One last condition my liege, whoever is the daughter that you will not wed, she must be taken with you to your castle and given a position in your court, so that she may learn diplomacy and court intrigue.”

The king furrowed his brow and took a while to reply, when he did finally reply he said: ” Forgive me sir, but I simply cannot ask for the hand of one of your daughters, for they are both very beautiful and I cannot pick one over the other, without lamenting the loss of the one I didn’t wed. It’s like choosing between a sapphire and ruby.”

The lord looked perplexed, and told the king: ” I don’t understand my lord… You can talk to each one in private and see who is to your liking…”

The king adamantly refused to wed any of them, leaving the lord confused and angry. On the way back home: The king’s advisor and trusted friend told him: “You showed great virtue today my liege… But I also don’t quite understand your decision… Are you sure of what you did?”

The king then replied: “Of course I am! The dimwit insists I take both daughters to court and they are identical twins! How can I tell apart my wife from my mistress then?!”

Two redditors give birth to identical twins
They marvel at how beautiful the first kid is. “This is the cutest thing I have ever seen.”
When they saw the second baby, they had only a single word to describe their reaction.
“Repost.”

My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin…….
– I asked how he could tell them apart. He said “Her brother has a mustache.”

There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee.
Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends off the form, but immediately starts to regret it. He is told that to revoke his form he must pay a small fee. Ling takes out her purse and is about to hand over the money when suddenly…
A man, their father, bursts through the door and embraces Ving and tells them, “Don’t stop, be Lee, Ving”, “Hold on to that fee, ling.”

A mom is breastfeeding her baby twins.
– One day, one of the twins realized that there is more milk coming from the breast where his twin sibling is feeding on. Because of extreme jealousy, he put poison on that specific breast while everyone is asleep.

The next day, the twins’ uncle died.

A Yiddish speaking newcomer to America took his pregnant wife to the hospital, but during the delivery, when he found out they were twins, he fainted.
He didn’t regain consciousness for a few days so his brother was brought in to help name the children.
“My brother named my kids?!” he exclaimed when he woke up. “But my brother is illiterate! And he can’t even speak any English. Okay, so what did he name the girl !?”
“He named her Denise.”
“Denise? Well, that’s not such a bad name. I kind of like it. And what did he call the little boy?”
“De Nephew.”

Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?
– After they were caught, they finished each other’s sentences.

Two twins were separated at birth
– One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. “I wish I could see the other one,” she said. The adoption mother then said,
” If you’ve seen juan, you’ve seen jamal.”