Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

I just found out my wife has an identical twin
– I saw her on Tinder.

Weird names can bring problems
– In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. One was named Trouble, while the other boy’s name was Mind Your Own Business. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. But, somehow he couldn’t find him anywhere. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, “Mind Your Own Business!” Feeling insulted, the police officer still asked politely who he was looking for. Mind Your Own Business replied, “I am looking for Trouble!”

What do you call Identical Twin Brothers who choose a life of crime?
– Cell Mates

What do you call Michael Bublé’s identical twin brother?
– Michael Dublé! 😀

A friend of mine said, “Wow! Your wife and your daughter look like twins.”
– I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”

Twin sisters in a Newfoundland nursing home were turning 100 years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the 100 year old twins.
One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.

Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.

The deaf sister said to her twin “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other.

“Now get a little closer together” said the cameraman. Again “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE”.

So they wiggled up close to each other.

“Just hold on for a bit longer, I’ve got to focus the camera” said the photographer. Yet again “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “HE SAYS HE’S GONNA FOCUS!”

With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out “OH LARD JESUS! BOTH OF US???? CAN I BE FIRST???”

A woman has twins and gives up both for adoption.
A woman has twins and gives up both for adoption.

The first twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and is then named “Amal.”
The second twin is adopted by a Spanish family and is then named “Juan.”
After 25 years, Juan sends a picture of himself to his biological mother after doing some research about his actual mother.
His mother (biological), almost instantaneously recognises him.
His mother then tells this to her partner and she tells, ” How I wish I could see my other son!”.
In reply, her partner says “If they both are identical twins then and then you saw one of them, then you have seen them both.”

A joke I made up
There once lived an unmarried, flamboyant, lustful king who chased women and slept with everyone in his court. The day came for him to be married, and he went to see a local lord who was rumored to have two beautiful daughters. The king went to meet the lord and his two beautiful daughters. After looking at both daughters the king was ready to announce which one he was going to marry, but before he could, the lord said:

” One last condition my liege, whoever is the daughter that you will not wed, she must be taken with you to your castle and given a position in your court, so that she may learn diplomacy and court intrigue.”

The king furrowed his brow and took a while to reply, when he did finally reply he said: ” Forgive me sir, but I simply cannot ask for the hand of one of your daughters, for they are both very beautiful and I cannot pick one over the other, without lamenting the loss of the one I didn’t wed. It’s like choosing between a sapphire and ruby.”

The lord looked perplexed, and told the king: ” I don’t understand my lord… You can talk to each one in private and see who is to your liking…”

The king adamantly refused to wed any of them, leaving the lord confused and angry. On the way back home: The king’s advisor and trusted friend told him: “You showed great virtue today my liege… But I also don’t quite understand your decision… Are you sure of what you did?”

The king then replied: “Of course I am! The dimwit insists I take both daughters to court and they are identical twins! How can I tell apart my wife from my mistress then?!”

What did the twin embryos say when they were hungry?
– Fetus

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
– Anna 1 , Anna 2

What did the hispanic firefighter name his twins?
– Hose A and Hose B

Very few people know the scientific term for identical twins.
– Fetus Repeatus.

The bell ringer at a church dies…
– So they put out an ad for a new ringer, and on the first day a guy shows up for the job. He climbs the bell tower, and rather unexpectedly, he runs and jumps and hits the bell with his face. He continues to ring the bell this way for the rest of the time. The priest thinks it’s weird but whatever, he lets him do his job. Within a couple of days, though, the man runs and jumps and misses the bell, falling to his death in front of the church. As the crowd gathers, someone asks “Who is that man?”

Someone else replies “I don’t know, but his face sure rings a bell.”

The next day the man’s identical twin shows up to replace him as the bell ringer, and the priest hires him. He climbs to the top, runs, jumps, and misses the bell, falling to his death. Once again, the crowd gathers, and someone asks “Now, who was THAT guy?”

Someone else says “I don’t know his name, but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”

I was told this joke years ago, and I probably butchered it. The punchline still works, though.

My ex hated when I started dating her twin sister.
– Like it’s my fault they’re conjoined.

A set of identical twins are separated at birth
– A mother in Italy was unable to keep her babies, she had two identical twin boys. Unfortunately she couldn’t find a family to take both children so two separate families each took one of the boys. One of the families was from Lebanon and named their son “Amal”. The other family was from Spain and named their son “Juan”. Years later the boys discover they were not only adopted but that they had a twin brother. The family in Italy was contacted and a reunion was organized. To make it more dramatic the brothers agreed to find flights that landed approximately the same time. The day finally comes and Juan’s plane lands, Juan comes out and meets his family. There is tears and laughter and hugs. Then they notice that the flight from Lebanon has been canceled. Everyone is sad until that one Uncle (every family has one) says “Well, if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

A pair of twins have a deal…
– They constantly get in trouble with the law for various reasons and are frequently thrown in jail. They don’t like staying in jail for too long, so they made a deal: if only one of the twins is arrested and imprisoned, the other twin will sneak in and swap places with them when they have spent half the time served in prison.

It’s great to see these twins are so close that they’re always finish each other’s sentences.

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins.
After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal.

18 years pass when the birth parents receive a package from Juan with a letter saying how grateful he is to them and with a ton of pictures of him and his life. This makes the birth mother inconsolably sad, her husband says “are you not happy? You always wondered what he looked like, whether he had my eyes or your nose and now you know” “I know and I’m really happy that I got to see the pictures but it makes me even sadder that I have no pictures of Amal.” To which the husband replies “they’re identical twins, if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal!”

Why are the twin towers and genders so similar?
– Because there used to be two of them, but it’s offensive to joke about that now.