Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

I’m using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed…
– But there’s a plane heading towards the twin towers right now.

A woman has twin boys.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

Uncle Names Twins
A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, “Doc, what happened to my baby!”

The doctor replied, “Ma’am, you’ve had twins! You’re the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you.”

“Oh, no!” shrieked the woman. “Not my brother! He’s not really all together, if you know what I mean!”

The doctor replied, “Well, ma’am, your brother named your daughter Denise.”

“Oh, that’s no so bad,” smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, “What’s the boy’s name?”

The doctor grinned and said, “Denephew.

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
– Because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal.

Twins
Two identical twins run around from the mother at the supermarket.
The mom, after looking around for long, finds one of them. She holds him tight:
“Where is you brother?” she asks furiously.
“Mom,” the little boy answers, “it’s me.”

My wife’s fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time.
– She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman

Imagine if jesus had been born a Siamese twin…
…it would have been the perfect double cross!

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.
– It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

what do we call a pair of identical twin cats?
– Duplicats

Genders are like the Twin Towers
– There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.

My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother’s surprise party.
– That’s when I realized he was her favourite twin.

The twin twist
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”
The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”
“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him.
– So I suggested Kaye and Elle.

Two identical twins separated at birth…
… And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series of coincidences they had found eachother and had tracked down their address. Enclosed was a picture of Juan smiling happily with his adoptive Mexican parents.
“Oh” the mother says to her husband. “he’s so handsome! And seems so happy! I wish I knew what his brother looks like.”
“Honey” said her husband “They’re twins, once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Hamal.”

What do you name the male and female twin monkeys?
– Abe and Anna

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins.
– After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal.

18 years pass when the birth parents receive a package from Juan with a letter saying how grateful he is to them and with a ton of pictures of him and his life. This makes the birth mother inconsolably sad, her husband says “are you not happy? You always wondered what he looked like, whether he had my eyes or your nose and now you know” “I know and I’m really happy that I got to see the pictures but it makes me even sadder that I have no pictures of Amal.” To which the husband replies “they’re identical twins, if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal!”

Quasimodo Part 2
– After Quasimodo’s funeral the next Sunday, his identical twin brother Farsimodo that no one knew he had was so distraught that he vowed to take up his brother’s mantle. Realizing that the funeral got out right before he had to ring the bells for the first time, he made a mad dash for the spires of Notre Dame.

He ran as fast as he could as not to be late, grabbing the ropes in the knick of time to ring the bells gloriously. In his haste, he swung the bells way too hard and the bell returned to him only to smash his face in and cause him to fall from the tower to a bloody mess.

As the crowd gathered around, seeing his head smashed in from the bell, someone could be heard to yell out, “Hey who is that?!”

The answer came back from the front of the crowd, “I don’t know his name, but he is a dead ringer for his brother!”

What do the twin towers and genders have in common?
– There used to be two and now it’s too offensive to talk about.