Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

Two identical twin brothers, George and Ted, turned 100. George’s hearing was just as good as ever, but Ted was slightly deaf.
An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers’ picture. “I’m going to take your picture,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says she’s going to take our picture,” replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Inside the room were two chairs. “Now sit down in these chairs,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says we should sit down in these chairs,” replied George. So George and Ted sat down in the chairs.

The photographer pulled out her camera and pointed it at the birthday brothers. “Now let me focus,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says she’s going to focus,” replied George.

“Wow!” exclaimed Ted. “Both of us at the same time?”

Doctor twin visits pastor twin
A couple has identical twin sons.
After they finish school, they go to separate cities for university: one studies medicine and eventually gets his MD degree; the other decides to become a man of the cloth and gets his DD (Doctor of Divinity).
The doctor settles down near the city where he studied and his twin brother gets appointed to be a pastor in a small town near his university.
One day, the doctor twin decides to visit his brother. He checks in at a little inn and decides to go for a walk around town first to stretch his legs a little after the car drive.
While he is walking, he is greeted by a member of his twin’s congregation: “Good afternoon, Reverend!”
He responds, “Oh, you must have mistaken me for my twin brother! I’m the one who practices, not the one who preaches.”

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.
– It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.
– I was beside myself.

I just cheated on my wife with her twin
– He was a great guy

My wife hasn’t spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.
– He’s not happy about it either.

When you’re telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you tell them the entire thing.
– Because you just can’t tell them a part.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?
– They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

My Friend Had Twins Over the Pandemic
I ran into her for the first time in ages and asked how the little ones were doing. She said Amal and Juan were just fine and were growing like weeds.
I asked to see a picture of them and she showed me a single baby on her phone.
“Aren’t there two of them?” I asked.
She replied: “Well if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me.
– I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

A Spanish woman was married to an Arabic man when they discovered they were going to have identical twin boys.
After much discussion, it was decided that one should be named after his paternal grandfather Amal and the other after his maternal grandfather Juan.
Years go by …
The boys and their mom are at the grocery store one day when the boys were about 6 yrs old. As the mom was looking at cereal prices, she noticed that Amal was nowhere to be seen. She freaked out and looked in the adjacent aisles and still couldn’t find him. An employee saw Juan crying and the mom flipping out. He asked what was going on, and offered to help. He asked her if she had a photo of Amal so he would know who he was looking for. She told him, “They’re twins … If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”.

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.
– It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

If 9/11 had happened in July…
– 7/11’s brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.

A recently divorced woman comes across a genie in a lamp
– A recently divorced woman was walking along the beach, when she notices a lamp in the sand. She picks it up and rubs it, and out pops a genie. “I am the genie of this lamp,” he said, “and I will grant you three wishes, but under one condition: whatever you receive, the person you hate the most will receive ten times the amount. Who is the person you hate the most?” The woman replies easily, “My ex-husband.” “Okay, what is your first wish?” “I wish I had a billion dollars!” the woman replied excitedly. Piles and piles of cash appear around her and she is ecstatic, until the genie says, “Remember, though, your ex-husband now has ten billion dollars.” The woman is fuming at this. “Okay, my next wish is to live in a mansion with a view of the ocean.” Suddenly, right behind the woman, a beautiful, enormous mansion appears. The woman begins running towards it, when the genie says “But, remember, your ex-husband now owns a mansion ten times as large and as beautiful.” The woman is now very, very visibly upset. She decides to think very, very carefully about her last wish. After a few minutes of deep thought, she grins wickedly, turns to the genie, and says “I wish to give birth to twins.”

What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
– Plain

Know what’s the best part about my supervisor having an identical twin?
– I get to watch him die twice.

I’m using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed…
– But there’s a plane heading towards the twin towers right now.

A woman has twin boys.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”