Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2025

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.
– I was beside myself.

With all my high level degrees and PHD’s, I stumbled upon these questions……… 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?r>
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
9. If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.
10. If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

A woman pregnant with twins went into labor suddenly, and fell unconscious during the delivery. The hospital – – contacted the father and he arrived quickly, just in time to witness the birth of his children.
His wife had not woken up yet, when the hospital staff asked the father what to name his new son and daughter. They had tried for months to decide on the perfect names, but couldn’t reach an agreement, so he did the best he could. When the mother regained consciousness, the father let her know what had happened, and that he had named their twins. “What did you name our son?” She asked him. “Mason.” “Oh,” she replied, “Not really what I had in mind, but it’s a good name. What did you name our daughter?” “Madaughter”

I’ve been cheating on my girlfriend with her twin, but it’s OK because I can tell them apart.
– Brian has a moustache.

Two identical twin brothers, George and Ted, turned 100. George’s hearing was just as good as ever, but Ted was slightly deaf.
An attractive female photographer came to the retirement home to take the brothers’ picture. “I’m going to take your picture,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says she’s going to take our picture,” replied George. So George and Ted followed the photographer to a room.

Inside the room were two chairs. “Now sit down in these chairs,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says we should sit down in these chairs,” replied George. So George and Ted sat down in the chairs.

The photographer pulled out her camera and pointed it at the birthday brothers. “Now let me focus,” she said.

“What did she say?” asked Ted. “She says she’s going to focus,” replied George.

“Wow!” exclaimed Ted. “Both of us at the same time?”

Doctor twin visits pastor twin
A couple has identical twin sons.
After they finish school, they go to separate cities for university: one studies medicine and eventually gets his MD degree; the other decides to become a man of the cloth and gets his DD (Doctor of Divinity).
The doctor settles down near the city where he studied and his twin brother gets appointed to be a pastor in a small town near his university.
One day, the doctor twin decides to visit his brother. He checks in at a little inn and decides to go for a walk around town first to stretch his legs a little after the car drive.
While he is walking, he is greeted by a member of his twin’s congregation: “Good afternoon, Reverend!”
He responds, “Oh, you must have mistaken me for my twin brother! I’m the one who practices, not the one who preaches.”

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.
– It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.
– I was beside myself.

What do flatulent Egyptian twins share?
– They have a Toot-in-common.

A girl gives birth to identical twins but has to give them up for adoption…….
– One is adopted by a Spanish family and they call him Juan, the other gets adopted by an Indian family and they decide to call him Amahl.
Years go by and one day the mother, full of regret, decides she wants to know what became of her sons so she goes to the adoption agency and asks them to help her track them down.
Eventually they are able to track down Juan and arrange a meeting but they just can’t find Amahl. The lady is upset and begins to cry, saying “I wanted to meet both of my boys” to which the adoption worker replies “hey, they’re identical twins…. if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amahl.”

4 men are in the hospital waiting room waiting for their babies The nurse walks in and tells the first man: “Congratulations you’re having twins.” The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence, i work for the Minnesota twins.”
The nurse tells the second man: “Congratulations you’re having triplets.”
The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence, i work for the 3M company.”
The nurse tells the third man: “Congratulations You’re having quadruplets.”
The third man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence i work at the 4 seasons hotel.”
The fourth man is screaming and banging his head on the wall
The nurse asks him: “What’s wrong?”
He responds: “I screwed up, i work at 7UP”

If you date twin girls, and one of them smokes weed..
– Is that like getting two birds with one stoned?

Did you know Juan the horse has a brother named jamal?
Nothing really special, they’re identical twins.
If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal

My Friend Had Twins Over the Pandemic
I ran into her for the first time in ages and asked how the little ones were doing. She said Amal and Juan were just fine and were growing like weeds.
I asked to see a picture of them and she showed me a single baby on her phone.
“Aren’t there two of them?” I asked.
She replied: “Well if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me.
– I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

A Spanish woman was married to an Arabic man when they discovered they were going to have identical twin boys.
After much discussion, it was decided that one should be named after his paternal grandfather Amal and the other after his maternal grandfather Juan.
Years go by …
The boys and their mom are at the grocery store one day when the boys were about 6 yrs old. As the mom was looking at cereal prices, she noticed that Amal was nowhere to be seen. She freaked out and looked in the adjacent aisles and still couldn’t find him. An employee saw Juan crying and the mom flipping out. He asked what was going on, and offered to help. He asked her if she had a photo of Amal so he would know who he was looking for. She told him, “They’re twins … If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”.

I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother.
– It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

If 9/11 had happened in July…
– 7/11’s brand name would have crumbled faster than the Twin Towers.