Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Turtle Jokes 🐢 in 2025

What do you call a turtle chef?
-A slow cooker

John: “What was the snapping turtle doing on the highway?”
Bob: “I don’t know.”
-John: “About one kilometer per hour.”

A turtle walked in a restaurant but the owner grabbed it and threw it out.
-It came back 5 months later and yelled: get your hands off me!

What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
– A shell-met.

Where did the turtles first encounter the Evil Leatherhead?
– In the alley-gator.

A snail goes to the police station to report a robbery.
– He was robbed in broad daylight by two turtles. The investigator says,”start from the beginning and tell me what happened”, and the snail says,”I don’t know, everything happened so fast.”

What do turtles do best?
-Slow dances.

What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
-They have a shell-ebration.

Timmy the Turtle climbed up the tree and jumped off the branch. He waved his arms and legs are hard as he could, but Timmy hit the deck and began to bleed.
-He then climbed the tree again. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, “Honey, I think it’s time we told Timmy that he’s adopted.”

The ninja turtles and master splinter were found dead in their lair…
-The police ruled the deaths as sewer-cides.

Follow us on Facebook