Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Turtle Jokes 🐢 in 2025

I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood
– But just ended up with a load of Splinters.

My pet turtle died.
-I’m not upset, just shell-shocked.

How did the musician turtle get off his back?
-He rocked, and he rolled.

What type of turtles are easiest to spot?
-Green “see” turtles.

Where do turtles go who commit crimes?
– To the prison shell-block.

Why did the turtle cross the road?
-To get to the Shell station.

How did the Turtle beat the Hare?
-It used a razor.

Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
-To the shell block.

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a lama?
-A turtle neck sweater.

What do you need to do to buy a rare turtle?
-You have to shell out a ton of money.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
– When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
-I had a shell of a time.

What happens if you get into a fight with one of the famous Ninja Turtles?
– You get shell shocked.

A snail witnessed two turtles collide and have an accident. He was asked what he saw….
– He said, “I’m not sure, it all happened so fast.”

Why is turtle wax so expensive?
-Because their ears are so small.

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?
-A slowpoke.

One of my best teachers in high school was a turtle.
– I remember everything he tortoise.

My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
– It tortoise nothing.

Follow us on Facebook