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Turtle Jokes 🐢 in 2025

What did the turtle say to the taco?
-“My shell or yours?”

What kind of turtles are the easiest to find?
– Green “see” turtles.

Why did Shredder have a shower before leaving the turtles lair?
-Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

What happens to you when you wish to buy a turtle?
-You have to shell out a lot of money.

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.
– It was a turtle disaster.

Why do turtles never forget?
-Because they have turtle recall.

There are two turtles in a tank…
-one says to the other, “how do you drive this thing?”

Where do homeless turtles go?
-To the Shellter 🙂

What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
-A slow-pork.

How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
-Shell-shocked.

How do turtles communicate with each other?
-With shell phones.

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns?
– I wish they would have tortoise that in school.

What does a turtle need to wear when he rides a bike?
-A shell-met.

Why do Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hate office work?
-Because they can’t stand The Shredder.

What’s something a turtle can’t do when you put it on its back?
-It can’t believe you’ve done this

How does the turtles’ friend Usaji Yojimbo keep his hair so neat?
-He uses a hare-brush.

Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates?
-They always destroy the shredder.

Where do you find a leg-less turtle?
-Wherever you left it!

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