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Tuesday jokes in 2025

What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts?
– I have fillings too.

I can’t wait for Tuesday, February 22, 2022 (2/22/22). .
– We can call it… 2’s day

Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
– He was dead-lifting.

How do you make a Tuesday better?
– You can Choose(Tues)day and just go with it until Friday.

What does a taxidermist do on Tuesdays?
– Nothing special … just the usual stuff.

What’s the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee?
– Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday…

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
– One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

I was at the gym yesterday, and I asked the Personal Trainer if they could teach me how to do the splits. ‘How flexible are you?’ they asked…
…I said ‘well, I can do any day apart from Tuesdays and Fridays’.

What’s the opposite of irony?
– Wrinkly.

What do a Tuesday morning and a stress ball have in common?
– They both are less busy than a Monday morning.

I only drink on days beginning with “T”
– Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow

I saw Usain Bolt sprinting around the track shouting, “Why did the chicken cross the road!?” It was a running joke.

Why would you call Tuesday 22nd in February 2022?
– A Two’s day full of 22/2/22.

After every tuesday,
– Even the calender goes W T F

What’s the worst thing about Fridays?
– Realizing it’s only Tuesday.

What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Tuesday?
– “Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.

With the election coming up Tuesday, Exit polls show Donald Trump having a 300 point lead in one state…
– Dementia.

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

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