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Tuesday jokes in 2025

Why didn’t ‘Get up and Go’ arrive at the party on a Tuesday?
– Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.

Did you hear about the director of the Department of Motor Vehicle who resigned on Tuesday?
– He tried to resign on Monday, but found he’d been standing in the wrong line.

Happy Fat Tuesday…
– Or as your mother calls it, just another day.

Why are Sundays stronger and more powerful than Tuesdays?
– Because Tuesday is just a weak-day.

Why didn’t Sanders supporters vote for him on Super Tuesday?
– Because they were too busy posting on Reddit

Got a PS5 for my little brother. Best trade I’ve ever done!

Why were my neighbors walking barefoot in their garden?
– Because they were celebrating open Toesday!

Why did the vegetable salad say to a fruit juice on a Tuesday morning?
– “They say it is our day, TossedDay!”

It’s Pancake Tuesday already…
– Really creped up on me.

How does a squid go into battle?
– Well-armed.

Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying ‘Tuesdays are the best’?
– Because it is a seal of approval.

What did the calendar say after Tuesday?
– WTF

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
– Same middle name.

Why did Pooh like Taco Tuesdays?
– Because they help in enhancing his roundness for the rest of the week.

I broke my hand last Tuesday, and the doctors told me that my cast wont be able to come off before 6 weeks.
– But dont worry, I managed to pull that thing off after 5 days, I dont know what they were on about!

What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
– Icy dead people.

How many days did it take for Sunday to reach Wednesday?
– Twosday.

Why don’t people differentiate between Monday and Tuesday morning?
– Because for them Tuesday morning is just as similar to Mondays.

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