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Tuesday jokes in 2025

why was the computer late to work?
– because it had a hard drive! (stole it from ellen, from her classic joke tuesday)

Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
– Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

Why is Sunday stronger than Tuesday?
– Because Tuesday is a weekday.

What’s E.T. short for?
– Because he’s got little legs.

What did the employees say to the boss when he could find them on Tuesdays?
– They smiled at him and said, “Good employees are just hard to find, especially on a week day”.

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
– They just don’t make them like their going to anymore.

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers?
– The infantry.

What do Tuesdays always love to do?
– They like to put the blame on Mondays.

What happens when the new President moves into the White House, but the old President refuses to leave?
####’My Two Presidents’

New CBS Tuesdays after NCIS: The Really Odd Couple 10/9c

You know there’s no official training for trash collectors?
– They just pick things up as they go along.

What is common between eggs and Tuesday?
– One can make a scrambled breakfast and the other can scramble your week.

Why are mints necessary for meals during Tuesday mornings?
– Because they back you up with an encourage-mint to reach the weekend.

So I got a nose job last Tuesday…
– It’s amazing what hookers will do if you tip them.

(Original joke)

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
– Phillipe Phillope.

What does a clean Tuesday symbolize?
– A cluttered next weekend!

Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays?
– Because you’re supposed Tuesday on the ground.

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
– You just have to listen varicosely.

What is the worst day for a loaf of bread?
– It is a Toast Day!

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