Trucker jokes 🚚 in 2025

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.
He says:

– I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I’ll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

– I need 50 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them, and drives away with them. Soon, he comes back in a brand-new truck and new clothes and says:

– I need 100 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them and takes them away. Soon, he comes back in a huge customized truck and designer clothes and says:

– I need 200 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

The store clerk asks him:

– What’s the deal with these pictures? How come you were recently poor, but now you’re driving a truck worth more than my house?

The man replies:

– I opened a shooting range.

I just got hired as a garbage truck driver.
– There was no training, but I think I’ll pick it up as i go along.

How are those Super Singles treatin’ ya?
– You should know, you are one!

A man is on the side of the road hitchhiking
– Two truckers stop and pick him up.
They’re driving along and the trucker driving farts. It’s completely silent. Then the trucker sitting next to him farts, and it makes no sound at all. The hitchhiker farts, and it’s loud enough to shake the whole cab.

Both the truckers turn and yell “virgin!”

What do you call a trucker that doesn’t drive anymore?
– Semi-retired.

Why are truckers just like dogs?
– They pee on tires, chase cars, live in a box and once in a while, get to bury a bone.

Wife strikes again but stronger than before!
– A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, “We had a wonderful system at the fire station:

Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets;

Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole;

Bell 3 rings, we’re on the trucks.

From now on, we’re going to run this house the same way.

When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked.

When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed.

When I say Bell 3, we’re going to make passionate love.”

The next night, the fireman comes home from work and yells, “Bell 1!” His wife takes off her clothes.

“Bell 2,” and his wife jumps into bed.

“Bell 3,” and they began to make love.

After two minutes, his wife yells, “Bell 4!”

“What’s Bell 4?” the husband asks.

“More hose,” she replies, “you’re nowhere near the fire

I have two friends. An astronaut and a truck driver.
– I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut.

What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
– A mother trucker

HOW’S YOUR PETER BUILT?
– A little bit of trucker humor, only I’m not a trucker, so you figure it out.

Cop pulls over a trucker and says, “Papers.”
– The trucker looks at the cop and says, “Scissors! I win!” Then he just drives away.

I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business…
…when a carload of gun toting, young and very loud tea partiers, shouting anti-Obama, anti-Muslim slogans, with a Gadsden flag duct taped on the trunk and a confederate flag taped to the hood, “All I need to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11” spray painted to the side, pulled up and stopped next to me.

Suddenly, they all yelled “YEEHAW” and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere, and 18 wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely, and killing everybody in it instantly.

For several long moments, I sat in shock. I thought “Damn, that could have been me”.

So today, I woke up bright and early. I went out, and applied for a job as a truck driver.

What’s the difference between a Peterbilt and a porcupine?
– On the porcupine the prick is on the outside.

A trucker pulls over at a diner and orders a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and one slice of cherry pie. While he’s waiting for his food, three huge bikers come in. When the trucker’s food comes, he doesn’t get the chance to eat it. The first biker takes the trucker’s cheeseburger. The second biker takes the trucker’s coffee. And the third biker takes the trucker’s slice of cherry pie. The trucker says nothing, gets up and walks out of the diner. A guy at the counter says to the cashier, “Wasn’t really much of man, huh? He didn’t do anything.”
– The cashier only replies, “Yeah, not much of a driver either. He just backed into three motorcycles while pulling out of here.”

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday
– A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Why are truck drivers always in accidents?
– Because they are semi drivers.

What does a woman trucker and a hockey team have in common?
– They both shower after 3 periods!

After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th.
– A big 10-4, if you will.