Trucker jokes 🚚 in 2025

Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket?
– He was hauling gas.

Why do women make terrible truck drivers?
– Because you give them a full load, and they take 9 months to deliver.

What do truckers do when they get E.D.
– They get a new peterbuilt

A Blond walks into a gas station…
and asks the employee: “I locked my keys in the car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”
Ten minutes later a trucker comes in and can’t stop laughing. So the employee asks him why he is laughing. The trucker says: “There is a Blond who tries to open her car with a coat hanger!” The employee: “So what? This could happen to anyone.” Trucker: “Sure, but usually there isn’t another Blond in the car who yells: a little more right / a little more left! “

What is a Truckers favorite part about the movies?
– The trailer

Two guys get pulled over…
– Two guys in a car get pulled over. The cop walks up to the window and says “We’re looking for 2 pedophiles”. The car window goes up then after a few seconds comes back down.
The driver gives a sigh. “Alright, we’ll do it”

Why can’t truck drivers ever fully retire?
– Because they can only semi retire.

A cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me.
– But then I found some concrete evidence.

I kept asking a trucker what today’s date was…
– Only thing he would say was, “10-4, good buddy”

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?
– They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

A police officer was monitoring the highway…
….When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit.

The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over.

As he walked up to the driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins! Doing as penguins would waddling around and such.

The officer goes to the truck driver and says “You cant be driving with all these penguins! They gotta go the zoo!”

The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo.

Next day, the officer sees the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again!

The officer pulls the truck over. As the officer walks up he notices that the trunk is still filled with penguins, but this time they are all wearing sunglasses.

The officer is furious. He tells the driver “You think you can pull one over on me! I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!”

The driver looks up and says “I took them yesterday! Today i’m taking them to the beach.”

A priest and a pastor…
… are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, ‘The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!’

They hold up the sign to cars passing by.

“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yells the first driver as he speeds by.

From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.

“Do you think,” says the priest to the pastor, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days.
– Because their trucks don’t go fast enough to kill the bugs. Only crush their tiny legs and arms.

A police officer tells a man. “I’m sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck.”
– And he says “Ya, but she has a great personality.”

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq.
– They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

A trucker and a blonde.
– A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman’s car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.

“Don’t you dare set foot outside this circle,” the trucker orders.

He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman’s car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman’s car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.

“I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!” The trucker shouts.

The blonde replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?
– They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Alahu Akbar
– A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. They started shouting at him saying “Alahu Akbar” and “Death to America”. The man is a bit freaked out. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and the Muslims. The Muslims accelerated quickly into the intersection and were promptly killed by a semi truck that ran the light. The man got to work and had a chance to think about what had happened. “That could have been ME!” he thought. So then and there he quit his job and got a new job as a truck driver.