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Trucker jokes 🚚 in 2025

Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?
– All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

I’m pretty sure this is the joke that will yield me my fortune.

My teacher told me I’d never get a job staring out of a window
– I guess I showed her, huh?

On the back of his truck was a sign saying, ‘How am I driving?’
– I thought to myself, “I’ve got no idea either!”

how do you say J.B.Hunt in german???
– SCHNEIDER!!! Or WERNER!!!

Have you heard about J.B. Hunt’s new accident kit?
– It comes with a 3 gallons of orange paint and a paint brush.

I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day.
-It came down like a ton of bricks.

TIL that Daryl Hall and John Oates started out as long-distance truckers
– They were haulin’ oats

Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
A: the defendant

Source: I’m a trucker. (reformed)

For the young and/or foreign:

Defendant – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defendant‎
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.

A biker gang comes into a transport cafe
and start picking on a little middle-aged man just sitting down to an all-day breakfast. They steal most of it, spit in his tea, and pull away his chair from under him, until eventually he gives up and walks out silently.

They laugh loudly and say to the waitress “He wasn’t much of a man, was he?”

“No,” she says, “and he’s not much of a truck driver either — he’s just backed an eighteen-wheeler over a whole line of motorbikes.”

Why are the fire trucks red???
– You would be too if your hose was hanging out all day…..

What did the Mexican truck driver say in his defense when he got pulled over with ten tons of imported snails?
– Es Cargo.

What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?
– the defendant

How do you say J.B. Hunt in German?
– Schneider.

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.
He says:

– I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I’ll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

– I need 50 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them, and drives away with them. Soon, he comes back in a brand-new truck and new clothes and says:

– I need 100 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

He gets them and takes them away. Soon, he comes back in a huge customized truck and designer clothes and says:

– I need 200 pictures of Kim Kardashian.

The store clerk asks him:

– What’s the deal with these pictures? How come you were recently poor, but now you’re driving a truck worth more than my house?

The man replies:

– I opened a shooting range.

I just got hired as a garbage truck driver.
– There was no training, but I think I’ll pick it up as i go along.

How are those Super Singles treatin’ ya?
– You should know, you are one!

A man is on the side of the road hitchhiking
– Two truckers stop and pick him up.
They’re driving along and the trucker driving farts. It’s completely silent. Then the trucker sitting next to him farts, and it makes no sound at all. The hitchhiker farts, and it’s loud enough to shake the whole cab.

Both the truckers turn and yell “virgin!”

What do you call a trucker that doesn’t drive anymore?
– Semi-retired.

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