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Tree Jokes 🌲 in 2025

Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?
-In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.

What is a pine tree’s favorite radio station?
-Anything that plays the poplar hits.

What looks like half a spruce tree?
– The other half.

What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?
-Tulips.

How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?
-Fell out of the tree.

Why isn’t the squirrel hard at work collecting acorns at the oak tree?
-She called in sick and went to the beech.

Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
-It was feeling green!

What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?
– Eleafant.

What did the little tree say to the rude tree?
-Leaf me alone.

What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
-ScoliOAKsis.

What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?
– A sour puss.

How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?
-They spruce themselves up.

What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree?
– Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!

Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?
-She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.

Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?
-Because they are sycamore.

What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
– Neither, they both weigh one pound.

How do trees access the internet?
-They log on.

Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?
-No way, that’s just nuts!

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