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Tree Jokes 🌲 in 2025

What happens when a tree falls into mud?
-It leafs an impression.

What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?
– A sour puss.

How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?
-They spruce themselves up.

What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree?
– Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!

Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?
-She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.

Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?
-Because they are sycamore.

What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
– Neither, they both weigh one pound.

How do trees access the internet?
-They log on.

Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?
-No way, that’s just nuts!

How old was the tiny tree?
-Near-leaf five.

What do you call an oak tree that can’t make it’s mind up?
-Undeciduous

What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?
-Absent without leaf.

What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?
-A houseplant going on vacation.

What do you call nice trees without any teeth?
-Sweetgums.

Why can’t Christmas trees sew?
-They always drop their needles

Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?
– They maple their brand off the shelves.

How did the apple tree get the job?
-It had the right qua-leaf-ications..

Why do trees make the worst frenemies?
-Because they are the best at throwing shade!

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