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Travel jokes ✈️🧳 in 2025

When in Mexico…
– Bean there, eat that.

What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling?
– Carrion bags.

We need all the Lucknow more than ever before..

My girlfriend complained last night that I never listen to her…
– or something along those lines.

A witch drove me to the airport this weekend.
– The only noise the engine made was broom broom!

What does a neckbeard say when he travels south of Thailand?
– Malaysian

I’m hiring a group of time travellers to come on an epic mission to fight crime across the 4th dimension.
– If you’re interested, interview was yesterday

I had a rubbish meal out at the moon this weekend.
– There was no atmosphere at all.

Why was the librarian angry at the airport?
– Her flight was overbooked

How do you know if an elephant loves to travel?
– Because he always packs his own trunk.

Light travels faster than sound.
– This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.

A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.

The cheese factory in my town collapsed last week.
– All that was left was de Brie!

Have you been to the salt flats in South America?
– I couldn’t Bolivia what I was seeing!

When in France…
– I will travel to France. You know why? Because I have nothing Toulouse.

These Covid travel restrictions are getting a bit much..
.. things are so bad, the US had to organise a coup at home!

I’m sorry, but Iran out of travel puns.

Why haven’t we had alien visitors to Earth?
– It’s good bad ratings – one star.

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