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Train jokes 🚅 in 2025

Knock, knock!
– Who’s there?
– Wenceslas.
– Wenceslas who?
– Wenceslas train home?

When a train is tired, it is called a slowcomotive.

Why do trains take so long to arrive on Halloween?
– They’re running with a skeleton service.

If you make the train driver angry, he’ll tell you to car-go away!

What’s the difference between a railway security guard and a teacher?
– One minds the trains and the other trains the minds.

Let’s go for a train ride, it’s a freight day for it!

Locomotive drivers love sudokus and crosswords, they’re great train teasers.

The train conductor worked hard and got offered a promotion.
– It was a tram-endous opportunity.

The troll that lives under my local railway bridge really is my arch enemy.

Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge.
– He’s my arch enemy.

When he’s stressed,
– the train driver always bites his rails.

Of course the train driver believes in love at first sight:
– it’s freight!

Being a train conductor requires you to get up early in the morning.
– Right at the track of dawn.

Why did the elephant refuse to travel on the train?
– Because she didn’t want to leave her trunk in the baggage carriage.

Ticket inspectors.
– You’ve got to hand it to them…

Train drivers are great criminals, they know how to cover their tracks.

Train conductors are clever and known for their engine-uity.

I had a friend who quit his gig as a newspaper reporter and took a train out of town.
– The ex-press train.

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