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Train jokes 🚅 in 2025

Being a conductor is more difficult than it looks. Every detail needs to be kept track of.

Well, one thing I’ll say about ticket inspectors is that you’ve certainly got to hand it to them.

How did the locomotive get so good at its job?
– It trained every day.

If you’re a hunter, you’ve got to make sure you’re not following train tracks!

It’s always great working with a train conductor. They’re always ready to take one for the steam.

Railroad workers need to be sure they always keep their train of thought, or else they might go down the wrong track and get someone hurt.

Knock, knock!
– Who’s there?
– Quintus.
– Quintus who?
– Quintus the next train leave?

A train can only think about one thing at a time,
– it has a one track mind.

The driver is a resilient guy; he always gets track on his feet.

Train drivers are known for their engine-uity!

What did the mother steam engine say to her baby to get her to eat?
– “Here comes the choo choo train!”

What happened to the man who took the evening train home?
– He had to give it back.

Driving trains is harder than it steams!

Even a train driver needs a brake once in a while, to let off some steam.

The conductor kept telling me funny train puns, and it was hard to keep a freight face.

Anyone who steals a train would definitely have a locomotive.

How do trains hear?
– Through their engineers.

Train drivers are really scary when they get angry; you’ve got to be careful not to yank their train.

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