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Train jokes 🚅 in 2025

A young man has just told me about a great offer on railway buffers. Apparently, it’s an end of line sale.

Why was the railway so angry?
– Because people kept crossing it.

The best time to buy trains is at the end of line sale.

You’ll never catch a train driver apologising: sorry steams to be the hardest word.

Train conductors are known for their drinking.
– They can just keep chugging.

Knock, knock!
– Who’s there?
– Levin. Levin who?
– Levin on a steam train.

There are locomotive olympics for which you have to train really hard.

The train driver’s day starts early: he gets up at the track of dawn.

Be careful with train drivers, they can go off the rails at anytime!

No matter where you are, you’ll never see happy railroad tracks.
– Too many people have crossed them.

How do you locate a stolen train?
– By following the tracks.

I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway.
– He tried to cover his tracks.

No one drinks faster than a train driver: he keeps chugging!

I’ve always been a big fan of a funny one-liner. I guess that’s why I like monorails so much!

I like to share a train pun or one-liner. I’ve always been driven by the joy of monorails.

Why can’t train engineers be electrocuted?
– Because they aren’t conductors.

And of course… How would you work out how heavy a whale is? You would take it to a whale weigh station….

The locomotive driver is a great person to work with; he’s always happy to take one for the steam.

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