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Train jokes 🚅 in 2025

How do find out how heavy a whale is?
– By taking it to the whale weigh station

What happened to the boy who was doing a project on trains?
– He found it difficult to keep track of everything.

Everyone is in love with the train driver, he is very at-track-tive.

Why can’t train engineers get electrocuted?
– They’re not the conductor.

What did the train track say when he walked into the bar with the motorway?
– A pint for me please, and one for the road.

A train track and a motorway walk into a bar.
– The train track says “a pint for me, please, and one for the road”.

Did you know that train conductors make great thieves?
– They’re really good at covering their tracks.

The conductor was overloaded with work, but he just kept chugging along.

I went to a railway fancy dress party at the weekend. I wasn’t surprised to see every person there was wearing platforms.

Why do you have to wait longer for a train on Halloween?
– Because they run a skeleton service.

How do locomotives hear?
– Through their engineers.

Everyone seems to have a crush on the train conductor.
– They’re quite at-track-tive.

Driving trains is a lot more difficult than it steams.

You know what they say, a train is only as strong as its weakest link!

It’s a freight day to go for a ride on a train.

I wanted to ask the train driver a question, but in the end I was too afreight to ask.

What’s one easy way to tell if a train just passed?
– It leaves tracks.

I went for a walk along the railroad tracks, but then I suddenly felt run down.

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