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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

Tomato paste is pretty viscous
– I guess it’s not very fast paste

I missed the documentary on TV on how they make tomato sauce…I guess I’ll have to watch it on ketch up.

Why is O scared of Tom?
– Because tomatoes.

What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
– Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

British man: If you like vodka and tomato juice so much…
then why don’t you bloody mary it!

I think my neighbour is growing tomatoes in his car…
He’s been sat in there with a hose through the window for hours!

Why did the tomato turn red?
– It saw the salad dressing.

What is the best way to fix a broken tomato?
– With tomato paste.

Does Santa like to grow tomatoes?
– YES — he gets to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
– A ketchup

My 4 year old nieces jokes:
Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear me!

[grocery store] Ok, milk…check, eggs…check, tomatoes…check.
“Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.”

Can you pick up the groceries?
– I haven’t botany.

What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
– “What’s the big dill?”

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders a bowl of tomato soup
The waitress says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”.

He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the bowl of soup is still full. He asks, “Are you going to have that soup?”

The other guy says, “No. Help yourself”.

He slides the bowl over and helps himself. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the soup back into the bowl.

The other guy says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got, too”.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Create new password: Tomato.

Confirm new password: Tomato.

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How do you get rid of unproductive tomatoes?
– Can them.

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