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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

My landscaper isn’t too bright. I asked him for a yard of topsoil for planting my tomatoes.
So far, 75 dump trucks have delivered soil, covering my entire yard, 12 inches deep

You say tomato, I say tomato
– But it doesn’t make that much sense when you read it.

“Should I be concerned about eating genetically modified tomatoes?”
– Tomato: “No”

What did the sergeant tomato tell the slacker soldier tomato?
– “You better catch up!”

Three tomatoes are walking down the street
– a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him… and says, “catch up”.

Tomato paste is pretty viscous
– I guess it’s not very fast paste

I missed the documentary on TV on how they make tomato sauce…I guess I’ll have to watch it on ketch up.

Why is O scared of Tom?
– Because tomatoes.

What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
– Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

British man: If you like vodka and tomato juice so much…
then why don’t you bloody mary it!

I think my neighbour is growing tomatoes in his car…
He’s been sat in there with a hose through the window for hours!

Why did the tomato turn red?
– It saw the salad dressing.

What is the best way to fix a broken tomato?
– With tomato paste.

Does Santa like to grow tomatoes?
– YES — he gets to hoe, hoe, hoe!

What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
– A ketchup

My 4 year old nieces jokes:
Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear me!

[grocery store] Ok, milk…check, eggs…check, tomatoes…check.
“Sir, please stop writing separate checks for every single item.”

Can you pick up the groceries?
– I haven’t botany.

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