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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

Two tomatoes were crossing a road..
One of them looked at the other and said: “Hey, you screwed up the joke!”

“Ok.. Milk..check! Eggs…check! Tomatoes…. check!”
“Sir, would you please stop writing separate checks for every single item?”

I’m a lazy cook so I prefer Canada recipes…
– You know, the ones that say, “Add a canada tomatoes, a canada beans, a canada corn…”

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
– Because he couldn’t find a date.

Why was the tomato blushing?
– It saw the salad dressing

What’s a tomato’s greatest desire?
– A jerrymato.

What did the last tomato on the vine say when all his friends got picked?
– I’ll ketchup with you guys later!

Tomates love dances, so what’s their favorite?
– Salsa!

When do you stop making sandwiches on Monday?
– When there was no more meat.

How do you fix a sliced tomato?
– Use tomato paste.

Where does the tomato and pasta go to dance?
– At the Meat Ball

A guy walks in a supermarket to buy tomatoes
Once he reaches to the tomato stand he asks:

Guy: Are this tomatoes genetically modified?

Tomato: No.

What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes?
– An ultomato.

A man threw dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me to start a fight.
– I asked, “You wanna pizza me?”.”

What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
– “You better catch up!”

Went I got home yesterday I found my wife on the kitchen floor with her best girlfriend lying on top of her, both naked, with flat pasta and tomato sauce all over them.
“what is this?”I asked

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like a lez on ya!”

Why did the tomato blush? (I need other food grocery themed jokes too please!)
– Because he saw the salad dressing! I am a cashier at a grocery store and need new food themed jokes! Please and thank you so much!!! I love you reddit fam happy new year!

How do you fix a broken pizza?
– With tomato paste.

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