Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

What does potatoes and tomatoes have in common?
– Toes

Is there anything Bacon said to Tomato?
– Lettuce get together!

Why did Mrs. Tomato turn red?
– She saw Mr. Green Pea over the back fence.

A tomato and a cucumber bounce into a bar.
“Larry and I have been wanting to become human for a while now,” the tomato says to the bartender. “But none of the other bars in town have drinks that will turn us into humans. Do you have such a drink?”

“I think I do,” says the bartender. “Let me see if I have it.”

“This is gonna be great, Bob!” gushes Larry the cucumber.

The bartender serves drinks to the two of them, and sure enough, they both turn human!

“Look at me, Bob!” exclaims Larry the ex-cucumber. “I’m human!”

“That’s very nice, Larry,” says Bob the ex-tomato, “but do be careful!”

Larry happily prances out the door. He is so excited about being human, he forgets to look both ways before crossing the street, and he is hit by a car and turned back into a cucumber.

Bob rushes outside to save his friend, but he too forgets to look both ways, is hit by a car, and turns back into a tomato.

The bartender rushes outside and calls an ambulance.

“Are they still alive?” asks the dispatcher.

“They are,” says the bartender, “but I’m worried that they will be vegetables for the rest of there lives.”

A Daddy tomato and a Baby tomato were walking down the street…
…when all of a sudden, Baby tomato started to fall behind, so Daddy tomato turned to Baby tomato and said “Ketchup!”

(I’m really sorry)

Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.

I was watching a series about crushed tomatoes but I fell asleep.

Now I have to ketchup.

Does Santa like to grow tomatoes?
– YES — he gets to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Given that pico de gallo is made with regular tomatoes…
…we’d need really big tomatoes to make nano de gallo

Why could the tomato outrun the broccoli?
– Because he wasn’t a vegetable!

What did Bacon say to Tomato?
– Lettuce get together!

What’s red, round and you can’t see it?
– A tomato in another country.

What makes tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
– Because they can’t ketchup.

What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot?
– A Transplant.

A study shows that eating 2oz of concentrated tomato sauce per day can keep a man’s sperm count up
– If you keep that up, your girlfriend just may get Prego.

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height?
– From my head, tomatoes.

How do you describe a tomato with a trumpet?
– A tooty fruity.

Why is a tomato round and red?
– Because if it was long, skinny, and green, it would be a bean.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Follow us on Facebook