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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time?
– You have been germinated.

A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race…
– the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn’t ketchup.

What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?
– I feel good. From my head, tomatoes.

Why is a tomato round and red?
– Because if it was long, skinny, and green, it would be a bean.

How life is like ketchup?
– Like ketchup, good things in life come slow and are worth waiting for.

A woman goes into a restaurant for her lunch break.
– She sees a man sitting at a table, alone with his bowl of tomato soup. Politely she asks him: “Excuse me, sir, is this seat taken? Mind if I join you?” He answers: “No problem, ma’am. But I have to warn you, I’m a very messy eater!” She smiles and sits down, and says: “Then it was a good idea to wear a red shirt when eating tomato soup, wasn’t it?” He answers: “Nope, I’m NOT wearing a red shirt…”

What do you call a potatoe that mimics a tomatoe?
– An ImiTATOR.

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato while out for a walk?
– Ketchup

What caused Mrs Tomato to turn red?
– Suddenly, she saw Mr. Green Pea!

Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them.
– The other turns around and says “Hurry up ketchup!”

The inventor of autocorrect has died
– His funnel is tomato

A broccoli, a tomato, and a yam were running in a race.
The broccoli got off to a great start, but being a green runner, he didn’t have enough stamina to finish the race. The yam and the tomato were neck and neck for the first mile, but the tomato fell behind. The yam was about to reach the end of the race when he collapsed from exhaustion right in front of the finish line. Over the course of the next hour, the tomato ran the entire length of the race, and won.

Why was the tomato so successful?

The tomato paste himself.

What’s red and invisible?
– No tomatoes

The type of tomato that smell best is?
– A Roma.

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
– Because he couldn’t find a date.

Use “TOMATOES” to win a girl’s heart?
– I love you from my head TOMATOES.

What did the potato say to the tomato?
– Hey sweetie, why are you blushing?

I’m a lazy cook so I prefer Canada recipes…
– You know, the ones that say, “Add a canada tomatoes, a canada beans, a canada corn…”

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