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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

Where does the tomato and pasta go to dance?
– At the Meat Ball

A guy walks in a supermarket to buy tomatoes
Once he reaches to the tomato stand he asks:

Guy: Are this tomatoes genetically modified?

Tomato: No.

What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes?
– An ultomato.

A man threw dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me to start a fight.
– I asked, “You wanna pizza me?”.”

What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
– “You better catch up!”

Went I got home yesterday I found my wife on the kitchen floor with her best girlfriend lying on top of her, both naked, with flat pasta and tomato sauce all over them.
“what is this?”I asked

“What does it look like?”

“It looks like a lez on ya!”

Why did the tomato blush? (I need other food grocery themed jokes too please!)
– Because he saw the salad dressing! I am a cashier at a grocery store and need new food themed jokes! Please and thank you so much!!! I love you reddit fam happy new year!

How do you fix a broken pizza?
– With tomato paste.

What did the tomato say to the lettuce?
– Lettuce be friends.

There were two neighbours named George and Ted, and they both grew vegetable gardens. George’s garden was growing beautifully, the tomatoes best of all. Meanwhile, Ted’s garden was growing horribly, the tomatoes worst of all.
One day, Ted asked George, “How do I make my tomatoes ripen?”

“Maybe you should try doing what I did,” said George. “You may remember that a few weeks ago, my tomatoes were just as bad as yours. Then I remembered reading somewhere that all tomatoes were female, so I came up with a plan to ripen them. That night, I went into my garden wearing nothing but my bathrobe, then dropped my robe in front of the tomatoes, hoping that they would blush at the sight of my naked body. Sure enough, the next morning my tomatoes were nice and red.”

“I’ll give it a shot!” said Ted.

The next morning, Ted looked at his vegetables. Then he turned to George and said, “I did what you did, and I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, my tomatoes are still green.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work,” said George. “What’s the good news?”

“The cucumbers are much longer and harder now.”

If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.

Told by my 9 year old son. Thought it was funny. Maybe more of a shower thought.

What did the pasta say to the tomato?
– Don’t get saucy with me

Why a tomato round and red?
– If it were long and green, it would be a cucumber!

Why did the tomato blush?
– Because he saw the salad dressing.

There is currently a tomato ketchup shortage in America
– If they run out of mayonnaise too, does that make it a double-dip recession?

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. “Och, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!”

What’s red and square?
– An uncool tomato.

When the cucumber and the cabbage got kidnapped by the tomato, what did they say to each other?
– Lettuce go.

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