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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2025

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
– The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?
– Because the tomato sauce couldn’t Ketchup.

Why did the tomato blush?
– Because he saw the salad dressing.

There is currently a tomato ketchup shortage in America
– If they run out of mayonnaise too, does that make it a double-dip recession?

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. “Och, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!”

What’s red and square?
– An uncool tomato.

When the cucumber and the cabbage got kidnapped by the tomato, what did they say to each other?
– Lettuce go.

What is red and goes up and down?
– A tomato in an elevator.

why did the bread kick the tomato over?
because he loafed him

I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato…
– Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole

A guy tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.
– So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

How do you fix a sliced tomato?
– Use tomato paste.

At the county fair, a woman asked a farmer how his tomatoes were so plump and red.
He told her that he stands at the edge of his garden every morning, naked. She said she would try that on her tomatoes.

The next year, at the county fair, the woman saw the farmer with his plump, red tomatoes. The farmer recognized the woman and asked her if she had tried out his trick.

The woman admitted to standing at the edge of her garden each morning, naked. She said that it didn’t make any difference with the tomatoes “But,” she said, “My cucumbers were humongous!!!”

There was a family of tomatoes
Daddy tomato, Mommy tomato and baby tomato.
Baby tomato was starting to lag behind.
Daddy tomato got angry, so he ran over, jumped on the baby and squished him. Then he said
“Ketchup”

What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes?
– You feel silly in Heinz sight!

Do tomatoes and potatoes have anything in common?
– Toes

What did the macaroni say to the tomato?
– “Don’t get saucy with me!”

How do you fix a broken tomato?
– With tomato paste.

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