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Toe jokes 👣 in 2025

A guy walks into a bar wearing a head to toe radiation suit
– The bartender says “I’ve heard of clothing that protects you from the elements, but this is outrageous”

The baby lost the toe-sucking competition, he tasted defeat and nothing else.

What is the boy called if he’s stung by a bee on his foot?
– You call him Toby.

If you injure your toe, remember to call a toe truck instead of an ambulance!

I just stubbed my toe on the corner of the sofa…
– …COUCH!!!!

What do you find between Godzilla’s toes?
– Slow runners.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
– Roberto.

Why did the feet get a good workout at ballet class?
– Because ballet keeps them on their toes.

The girl cell stepped on her brother’s feet by accident. “Ouch, my toe sis!” he cried out in pain!

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?
– *”Mitosis.”*

I told my wife her toe looks weird
– She said “That’s a little callous”

My friend said he could make some of the best toe jokes; I looked at him and said they were toe-tally bad.

What did Harry say when he stubbed the toe while entering the principal’s chamber?
– Dumb el door.

What do you call a sandwich with toe jam on it?
– It’s a toest.

What do you call a forum based around toe injuries?
– A stubbreddit

What do you call a cow with no toes
– Lac-toes intolerant

For which food item is toe spice a perfect seasoning?
– A toe-fu!

When I went to the doctor with a case of a bad toenail, he prescribed me loads of toe-ma-toe ketchup!

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