Titanic jokes 💑🚢🧊🌊 in 2025

Now I know it’s the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all…
– But aren’t the Italians going a little far with their tribute

Even though the Titanic was not a marvel of engineering
– the pools are. Been up and running without maintenance since the day they were opened.

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we’re stupid fools!?
– I’ve been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn’t even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

“What was that for?” asks the Chinese man..

“For Pearl Harbor” says the Jewish man.

“That was Japanese. I’m Chinese,” the Chinese man says.

“Chinese, Japanese” what’s the difference?

Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.

“What was that for?” asks the Jew.

“It’s for the Titanic.”

“The Titanic? That was an iceberg…”

“Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?” says the Chinese man

To think the unthinkable
The thtory of the titanic

I was going to tell you guys more jokes about the Titanic passengers
– but I think they’ve gone overboard

How ungrateful people are
– My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!

What’s the difference between the Titanic and my ex-girlfriend?
– The Titanic only went down on 1,000 people

If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic
– Let that sink in

The Titanic has been resting on the ocean floor for over a hundred years.
– Let that sink in for a minute.

My grandfather saw the Titanic and he warned everyone that it would sink, but no one listened
– He told people a few more times and then he was kicked out of the cinema

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the titanic?
– About half way

My friend with a lisp has a strong opinion on the Titanic II
– As he put it, they’re doing the unsinkable!

Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?
It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.

Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!

I renamed my iPod The Titanic
– When I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing”.

What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic?
– Icy dead people.

Cinco de Mayo and the Titanic
Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England .

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York ..

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico ..

But, as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as –

Sinko De Mayo.

An elementary teacher, middle manager, and lawyer die and go to heaven…
St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates and explains that to get in they each have to answer one question correctly.

The teacher goes first. St. Peter says “What was the name of the famous ship that sank after striking an iceberg in 1912?”

“The Titanic!”

“Right, off you go.” The teacher runs through the gates and the middle manager goes up next. St. Peter asks, “How many people were on board?”

“Oh! I know that one! 2,208 on board and 712 survived!”

“Right, off you go.” The middle manager runs through the gates. St. Peter takes a look at the lawyer and goes, “Name them.”