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Time jokes ⏱️ in 2025

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I’m reading a book on the history of staircases. It’s a step-by-step guide.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

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