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Thursday jokes in 2025

What does a clean Tuesday symbolize?
– A cluttered next weekend!

My cousin decided to try parkour, so he jumped off a single floor hotel. Anyway, to make a long story short
– would’ve helped. Funeral’s Thursday.

What is the worst day for a loaf of bread?
– It is a Toast Day!

It’s day 4 of the hostage situation.

How do tacos share stories about their scary experiences up until Tuesday?
…and then came the savior, Tuesday!

What did the executioner say on a Tuesday morning?
– It’s time to beheaded to work.

Think positive and positive things will happen.

How do you keep the dreams alive on Tuesdays?
– By hitting the snooze button.

I bought a used Lamborghini cheap with hopes of making a quick buck. My friend offered to flip it for me.
– He was as good as his word. The funeral is Thursday.

Some people call it Thursday, I like to call it Friday Eve.

Why didn’t the teacher read Tuesday morning news?
– Because she didn’t want additional Tuesday mournings.

How can people like Tuesday?
– By thinking that it is the farthest from the coming Monday.

I’ve decided I’ll be cremated.
– My appointment is 10am on Thursday.

What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts?
– I have fillings too.

A week ago Thursday was National Procrastination Day. . . .
– Time to celebrate!

Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
– Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

What do a Tuesday morning and a stress ball have in common?
– They both are less busy than a Monday morning.

Thursday. The most useless day. it only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week, and it’s still not over.

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