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Thursday jokes in 2025

How do you keep the dreams alive on Tuesdays?
– By hitting the snooze button.

I bought a used Lamborghini cheap with hopes of making a quick buck. My friend offered to flip it for me.
– He was as good as his word. The funeral is Thursday.

Some people call it Thursday, I like to call it Friday Eve.

Why didn’t the teacher read Tuesday morning news?
– Because she didn’t want additional Tuesday mournings.

How can people like Tuesday?
– By thinking that it is the farthest from the coming Monday.

I’ve decided I’ll be cremated.
– My appointment is 10am on Thursday.

What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts?
– I have fillings too.

A week ago Thursday was National Procrastination Day. . . .
– Time to celebrate!

Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday?
– Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.

What do a Tuesday morning and a stress ball have in common?
– They both are less busy than a Monday morning.

Thursday. The most useless day. it only exists as a reminder that it’s been a really long week, and it’s still not over.

Why would you call Tuesday 22nd in February 2022?
– A Two’s day full of 22/2/22.

My milk expires next thursday
– That means my milk has a date on Valentines Day, and I still don’t.

Let God guide you in your path today. He will provide you the strength that you need.

What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Tuesday?
– “Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.

Why did the employee worry about his Friday being ruined?
– Because it was still Tuesday morning.

If 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40, why can’t Thursday be the new Friday?

Why didn’t ‘Get up and Go’ arrive at the party on a Tuesday?
– Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.

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