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Tea jokes ☕ in 2025

What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea?
– Hebrew.

What did the tea bag say when he didn’t get laid?
– “She was such a teas”

What starts with a ‘t’ ends with a ‘t’ and is full of ‘t’ ?
– A teapot.

A man walks into a retro shop in Birmingham.
– He says “I’d like a kipper tie please”. Chap behind the counter says “milk & sugar?”

Patient: “Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.”
– Doctor: “Take the spoon out of your mug.”

I like people like I like my tea.
– In a bag….underwater

Made holy water while making my tea yesterday
– I just boiled the hell out of it

What type of tea does queen elizabeth love to drink?
– Immortali-Tea

Which dinosaur loved drinking tea?
– The Tea-Rex.

Why does Britain like tea so much?
– Because tea leaves.

Why do some people dislike twitch chat?
– It’s just not their Kappa tea

Tsunami invited Cyclone,Earthquake,and Drought to a tea party.
– No one came.

– Tsunami had a silent tea.

When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I’d come home with 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, 1/2 a pound of cheese, pack of tea and 6 eggs.
– You can’t do that now.
– Too many security cameras

Why should you always bring your own cup to a spy’s tea party?
– Their cups are always chipped.

The tea and coffee are married, but the tea leaves.
– Does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?

My new vehicle came with a dispenser that makes sweet tea forever…
– It’s a Infinite-tea.

I used to think the film Alien was about making a cup of tea.
– “I can’t open this milk!” “In space, no one can. Here, use cream.”

Why type of tea does Queen Elizabeth love to drink?
– Immortali-tea.

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