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Tea jokes ☕ in 2024

What second language is most commonly spoken by male tea drinkers?
– Hebrew.

What is the best type of tea?
– Spaghett-tea

What tea makes you original?
– Novel-tea.

My wife said she’s breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming,
– I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!

Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea?
– Because proper tea is theft.

Have you heard of the Indian Chief who drank 15 cups of tea before bed time?
– He drowned in his teepee

I just learned that some teas cause cancer
– But that’s a Brisk im willing to take

What does a camel ask when they give you a cup of tea?
– One hump or two?

What’s the most bitter tea in existence?
– Reality
– *cries in the corner*

Give a Brit some tea and you’ll make him happy for a day…
– Teach him how to grow tea…
– And he’ll colonize your country.

Why don’t anarchists drink Earl Grey?
– The believe proper tea is theft.

Why do tampons have strings?
– So vampires don’t burn their fingers while making tea.

What did the cannibal serve with tea?
– Finger sandwiches

I heard recently they’d made a new material out of lemons and tea leaves
– They’re calling it the Arnold Polymer

Why does the man put a blindfold on whenever he makes tea?
– Because a watched pot never boils.

Why can communists only drink herbal tea?
– Because proper tea is theft.

Did you hear about the Native American who drank 1000 glasses of tea?
– He drown in his tea pee.

What happened to black tea when earl grey became more popular?
– It became the minoritea

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