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Tea jokes ☕ in 2025

What’s the difference between a tea bag and the German football team?
– A tea bag stays in the cup for longer…
– Bit of British humour right there 😉

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
– Reality

Why should you always bring your own cup to a spy’s tea party?
– Their cups are always chipped.

What do you call a bri’ish Dinosaur
– A tea-rex

Why do the cows return from the fields right when evening tea is ready?
– It’s the tea-pot calling the cattle back.

I like my women like I like my tea.
– In a bag, underwater.

Why was the tea bag at the police station?
– She was mugged in broad daylight!

I was out having tea with my mother and I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti; she laughed at my idea!!
– You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a break?
– Tea, Rex?

Why don’t hipsters drink iced tea?
– Because they drank tea before it was cool.

Chocolate mousse isn’t my cup of tea…
– I find it off pudding.

I like people like I like my tea.
– In a bag….underwater

What does an English pimp do, after having tea and crumpets?
– Tally Hoes.

One cup asks another if he wants to see which once can hold most tea.
– The other says, “no, that’s a mug’s game”.

Patient says, “Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea”
– Doctor says, “Take the spoon out of your mug”

Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night?
– They found him dead the next day in his teepee

Why do communists only drink herbal tea?
– Because proper tea is theft.

Why don’t British people cry at funerals?
– They are used to Casual Teas

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