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Tax jokes 💸 in 2025

How can you tell if an accountant is extroverted?
– He looks at your shoes when talking to you instead of looking at his own.

Why are most accountants so goodlooking?
– They have great figures.

Accountants aren’t opinionated, but they are always right.

Why won’t the IRS embrace bitcoin?
– They don’t trust anything they can’t freeze.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– The Net Present Value.

What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
– “Mind the GAAP!”

What does the cannibal CPA charge?
– An arm and a leg.

Why did the IRS audit a chiropractor?
– Because he owed back taxes.

Why did Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS?
– He had too many deductions.

What do accountants like most about the weekends?
– They get to wear casual clothes to work!

They are going to start taxing hitchhikers
– They call it the thumbtax

Why are accountants always so stoic?
– They have good internal controls.

Why won’t skunks get audited?
– Because they only have one scent.

“One difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

What’s the differences between lawyers and accountants?
– Accountants know they’re boring.

How do accountants manage their money?
– They act their wage.

Why would you invest in a gas station that loses money to save on taxes?
– Because it’s self-serving.

An IRS auditor is walking down the street when a mugger stops him.

“Give me your money!” the mugger says. “You can’t do that!” says the IRS auditor.

“Oh,” the mugger comments. “Well, in that case, give me MY money.”

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