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Tax jokes 💸 in 2025

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
– They have strong internal controls.

What sort of taxes do marijuana dispensaries file?
– Joint returns.

What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
– An auditor.

Children may be a tax deductible, but they’re still taxing.

Knock knock
– “Who’s there?”
– IRS.
– “IRS who?”
– IRS You for tax fraud.

Why did the CPAs divorce?
– They couldn’t reconcile their differences.

What do the IRS, a mugger, and your kids have in common?
– They all take your money.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?
– The taxidermist takes only your skin.

What’s an accountant’s favorite type of cereal?
– Post!

What do accountants’ spouses say to fall asleep when they have insomnia?
– “Sweetie, tell me about your job.”

Why is pre-tax income nasty?
– Because it’s gross.

Why did the church get indicted by the IRS?
– For displaying false profits.

What do you call a trial balance that does not balance?
– A late night.

What did the overworked asset say to the other asset?
– I feel so under depreciated.

How does Santa Claus’ accountant value his sleigh?
– “Net present value.”

Why does the IRS hate Sherlock Holmes?
– Because he makes too many deductions.

After I spoke with the tax auditor, I slept like a baby. I woke up every hour and cried.

Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
– They’ve only got one scent.

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