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Tax jokes 💸 in 2025

They are going to start taxing hitchhikers
– They call it the thumbtax

Why are accountants always so stoic?
– They have good internal controls.

Why won’t skunks get audited?
– Because they only have one scent.

“One difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

What’s the differences between lawyers and accountants?
– Accountants know they’re boring.

How do accountants manage their money?
– They act their wage.

Why would you invest in a gas station that loses money to save on taxes?
– Because it’s self-serving.

An IRS auditor is walking down the street when a mugger stops him.

“Give me your money!” the mugger says. “You can’t do that!” says the IRS auditor.

“Oh,” the mugger comments. “Well, in that case, give me MY money.”

Why are accountants so cool, calm and collected?
– They have strong internal controls.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
– They have strong internal controls.

What sort of taxes do marijuana dispensaries file?
– Joint returns.

What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
– An auditor.

Children may be a tax deductible, but they’re still taxing.

Knock knock
– “Who’s there?”
– IRS.
– “IRS who?”
– IRS You for tax fraud.

Why did the CPAs divorce?
– They couldn’t reconcile their differences.

What do the IRS, a mugger, and your kids have in common?
– They all take your money.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?
– The taxidermist takes only your skin.

What’s an accountant’s favorite type of cereal?
– Post!

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